Part Four Chapter X

XAt nine oclock on the morning of the election for Barrys seat, Parminder left-hand(a) the Old Vicarage and walked up Church Row to the W altogethers house. She rapped on the door and waited until, at last, Colin appeared.There were shadows around his bloodshot eyes and beneath his cheekb singles his skin infermed to amaze thinned and his clothes pornographic too big. He had not yet returned to work. The news that Parminder had screamed confidential medical information ab emerge Howard in public had set hind end his tentative retrieval the more robust Colin of a few nights ago, who had sit on the leather pouffe and pretended to be confident of victory, might never have been.Is e realthing all right? he asked, closing the door behind her, looking wary.Yes, fine, she verbalise. I thought you might like to walk down the church hall with me, to vote.I no, he said weakly. Im sorry.I know how you feel, Colin, said Parminder, in a small tight voice. But if you dont vote, it means the yve won. Im not red ink to let them win. Im passing game to go down there and vote for you, and I want you to come with me.Parminder was effectively suspended from work. The Mollisons had complained to every professional body for which they could find an address, and Dr Crawford had advised Parminder to simulate time off. To her great surprise, she felt strangely liberated.But Colin was shaking his gaffer. She thought she saw tears in his eyes.I cant, Minda.You can she said. You can, Colin Youve got to stand up to them value of BarryI cant Im sorry I He made a choking noise and burst into tears. Colin had cried in her surgery before now sobbed in despondency at the burden of fear he carried with him every day of his life.Come on, she said, unembarrassed, and she took his arm and steered him through and through to the kitchen, where she handed him kitchen roll and let him sob himself into hiccups again. Wheres Tessa?At work, he gasped, mopping his eyes.There was an invitation to Howard Mollisons 65th birthday party lying on the kitchen table nighbody had torn it neatly in cardinal.I got whizz of those, as well, said Parminder. Before I shouted at him. Listen, Colin. Voting I cant, whispered Colin. shows them they havent beaten us.But they have, said Colin.Parminder burst out laughing. After contemplating her with his oral fissure open for a moment, Colin started to laugh too a big, booming guffaw, like the bark of a mastiff. altogether right, theyve run us out of our jobs, said Parminder, and uncomplete of us wants to leave the house but, other than that, I think were in very good shape indeed.Colin took off his glasses and dabbed his wet eyes, grinning.Come on, Colin. I want to vote for you. It isnt over yet. After I blew my top, and told Howard Mollison he was no better than a junkie in front of the whole council and the topical anaesthetic reduce He burst out laughing again and she was delighted she had not heard him laugh so much since Ne w Year, and then it had been Barry making him do it. they forgot to vote on forcing the addiction clinic out of Bellchapel. So, please. Get your coat. Well walk down there together.Colins snorts and giggles died a agency. He stared down at the big hands fumbled over apiece other, as if he were washing them clean.Colin, its not over. Youve made a difference. People dont like the Mollisons. If you get in, wed be in a much stronger position to fight. Please, Colin.All right, he said, after a few moments, awed by his own daring.It was a short walk, in the fresh clean air, each of them clutching their voter modification cards. The church hall was empty of voters apart from themselves. Each put a thick pencil cross beside Colins name and left with the sense that they had got away with something.Miles Mollison did not vote until midday. He paused at his partners door on the way out.Im off to vote, Gav, he said.Gavin indicated the telephone pressed against his ear he was on hold with Mar ys damages company.Oh right Im off to vote, Shona, said Miles, turning to their secretary.There was no harm in reminding them both that he was in need of their support. Miles jogged downstairs and proceeded to the Copper Kettle, where, during a brief post-coital chat, he had arranged to meet his wife so that they could go down to the church hall together.Samantha had spent the morning at home, leaving her benefactor in charge at the shop. She knew that she could no longer put off telling Carly that they were out of business, and that Carly was out of a job, but she could not bring herself to do it before the weekend and the concert in London. When Miles appeared, and she saw his excited little grin, she experienced a rush of fury.Dad not coming? were his first words.Theyre going down after closing time, said Samantha.There were two old ladies in the voting booths when she and Miles got there. Samantha waited, looking at the backs of their iron-grey perms, their thick coats and t heir thicker ankles. That was how she would look one day. The more crooked of the two old women noticed Miles as they left, beamed, and said, Ive just voted for youWell, thank you very much said Miles, delighted.Samantha entered the booth and stared down at the two names Miles Mollison and Colin Wall, the pencil, tied to the end of a piece of string, in her hand. Then she scribbled I hate bloody Pagford across the paper, folded it over, crossed to the ballot box and dropped it, unsmiling, through the slot.Thanks, love, said Miles quietly, with a pat on her back.Tessa Wall, who had never failed to vote in an election before, drove past the church hall on her way back home from school and did not stop. pathos and Simon Price spent the day talking more seriously than ever to the highest degree the possibility of moving to Reading. Ruth threw out their voter registration cards while clearing the kitchen table for supper.Gavin had never intended to vote if Barry had been alive to stand , he might have do so, but he had no desire to help Miles achieve another of his lifes goals. At half-past five he packed up his briefcase, irritable and depressed, because he had finally run out of excuses not to have dinner at Kays. It was particularly irksome, because there were hopeful signs that the insurance company was shifting in Marys favour, and he had very much wanted to go over and tell her so. This meant that he would have to store up the news until tomorrow he did not want to decompose it on the telephone.When Kay opened the door to him, she launched at once into the rapid, quick-fire talk that usually meant she was in a bad mood.Sorry, its been a dreadful day, she said, although he had not complained, and they had provided exchanged greetings. I was late back, I meant to be further on with dinner, come through.From upstairs came the insistent crash of drums and a loud bass line. Gavin was move that the neighbours were not complaining. Kay saw him glance up at the ceiling and said, Oh, Gaias furious because some boy she liked back in Hackney has started going out with another girl. She seized the glass of wine she was already drinking and took a big gulp. Her conscience had hurt her when she called Marco de Luca some boy. He had virtually moved into their house in the weeks before they had left London. Kay had found him charming, considerate and helpful. She would have liked a son like Marco.Shell live, said Kay, pushing the memories away, and she returned to the potatoes she was boiling. Shes sixteen. You bounce at that age. Help yourself to wine.Gavin sat down at the table, wishing that Kay would make Gaia turn the music down. She had virtually to shout at him over the vibration of the bass, the rattling saucepan lids and the noisy separator fan. He yearned again for the melancholy calm of Marys big kitchen, for Marys gratitude, her need for him.What? he said loudly, because he could tell that Kay had just asked him something.I said, did you vote?Vote?In the council election she said.No, he replied. Couldnt care less.He was not sure whether she had heard. She was talking again, and lonesome(prenominal) when she turned to the table with knives and forks could he hear her clearly. absolutely disgusting, actually, that the parish is colluding with Aubrey Fawley. I brook Bellchapel will be finished if Miles gets in She drained the potatoes and the splatter and crash drowned her temporarily again. if that silly woman hadnt lost her temper, we might be in with a better shot. I gave her masses of stuff on the clinic and I dont think she used any of it. She just screamed at Howard Mollison that he was too fat. Talk about(predicate) unprofessional Gavin had heard rumours about Dr Jawandas public outburst. He had found it mildly amusing. all this uncertaintys very damaging to the people who work at that clinic, not to consultation the clients.But Gavin could muster neither pity nor indignation all he felt was dismay at th e firm grip Kay seemed to have on the intricacies and personalities knotty in this esoteric local issue. It was yet another indication of how she was driving roots deeper and deeper into Pagford. It would take a lot to dislodge her now.He turned his head and gazed out of the window onto the overgrown garden beyond. He had offered to help Fergus with Marys garden this weekend. With luck, he thought, Mary would invite him to stay for dinner again, and if she did, he would skip Howard Mollisons sixty-fifth birthday party, to which Miles seemed to think he was looking forward with excitement. wanted to keep the Weedons, but no, Gillian says we cant cherry-pick. Would you call that cherry-picking?Sorry, what? asked Gavin.Matties back, she said, and he had to struggle to recollect that this was a colleague of hers, whose cases she had been covering. I wanted to keep working with the Weedons, because sometimes you do get a particular feeling for a family, but Gillian wont let me. Its crazy .You must be the only person in the world who ever wanted to keep the Weedons, said Gavin. From what Ive heard, anyway.It took nearly all Kays willpower not to snap at him. She pulled the salmon fillets she had been baking out of the oven. Gaias music was so loud that she could feel it vibrating through the tray, which she slammed down on the hob.Gaia she screamed, making Gavin jump as she strode past him to the foot of the stairs. atomic number 32 Turn it down I mean it TURN IT DOWNThe volume diminished by perhaps a decibel. Kay marched back into the kitchen, fuming. The row with Gaia, before Gavin arrived, had been one of their worst ever. Gaia had stated her intention of telephoning her father and asking to move in with him.Well, good luck with that Kay had shouted.But perhaps Brendan would say yes. He had left her when Gaia was only a month old. Brendan was married now, with three other children. He had a huge house and a good job. What if he said yes?Gavin was glad that he di d not have to talk as they ate the thumping music filled the silence, and he could think about Mary in peace. He would tell her tomorrow that the insurance company was making conciliatory noises, and receive her gratitude and admiration He had almost cleared his plate when he accomplished that Kay had not eaten a single mouthful. She was staring at him across the table, and her expression alarmed him. Perhaps he had somehow revealed his inner thoughts Gaias music came to an abrupt parry overhead. The throbbing quiet was dreadful to Gavin he wished that Gaia would put something else on, quickly.You dont even try, Kay said miserably. You dont even pretend to care, Gavin.He attempted to take the easy way out.Kay, Ive had a long day, he said. Im sorry if Im not up to the minutiae of local politics the second I walk Im not talking about local politics, she said. You sit there looking as if youd rather be anywhere else its its offensive. What do you want, Gavin?He saw Marys kitchen, and her sweet face.I have to beg to see you, Kay said, and when you come round here you couldnt make it clearer that you dont want to come.She wanted him to say thats not true. The last point at which a denial might have counted slunk past. They were sliding, at increasing speed, towards that crisis which Gavin both urgently desired and dreaded.Tell me what you want, she said wearily. Just tell me.Both could feel the relationship crumbling to pieces beneath the weight of everything that Gavin refused to say. It was with a sense of putting them both out of their misery that he reached for words that he had not intended to speak aloud, perhaps ever, but which, in some way, seemed to excuse both of them.I didnt want this to happen, Gavin said earnestly. I didnt mean it to. Kay, Im really sorry, but I think Im in love with Mary Fairbrother.He saw from her expression that she had not been prepared for this.Mary Fairbrother? she repeated.I think, he said (and there was a bittersweet pleas ure in talking about it, even though he knew he was wounding her he had not been able to say it to anyone else), its been there for a long time. I never adjudge I mean, when Barry was alive Id never have I thought he was your best friend, whispered Kay.He was.Hes only been dead a few weeksGavin did not like hearing that.Look, he said, Im trying to be honest with you. Im trying to be fair.Youre trying to be fair?He had always imagined it ending in a blaze of fury, but she simply watched him putting on his coat with tears in her eyes.Im sorry, he said, and walked out of her house for the last time.On the pavement, he experienced a rush of elation, and hurried to his car. He would be able to tell Mary about the insurance company tonight, after all.